Chynna Phillips got candid about how a recent move across the country put a strain on her relationship with her husband of 29 years, Billy Baldwin.
In a video shared on her faith-based YouTube channel "California Preachin,'" the 56-year-old singer shared that she and the 61-year-old actor were "bickering and arguing," noting that moving back to the West Coast had provided the "perfect breeding ground" for disagreements.
"Billy and I have been kind of going at it these past couple of days," Phillips admitted.
She continued, "We have just been getting on each other's last nerve, which is frustrating, because just when I feel like we're on a roll and things are starting to get better, we start the bickering again — very easily."
"I was really proud of myself because we started arguing this morning, and he was like, ‘What do you want?’ And I was like, ‘I want to communicate properly. I want us to have effective communication.’"
After she voiced her need for communication, Phillips said that Baldwin "gained his composure" and she "did the same."
"Then we were able to have like a normal conversation about what we were both upset about," the "Hold On" hitmaker said.
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"It was definitely a victory for us because we have a tendency to just sort of spiral and the communication breakdown gets worse and worse, and we’re off to the races," she continued. "Billy's my life partner. I mean, he's the one I want to have the healthiest relationship with. He's the one that I want to be able to talk to when I'm feeling the most vulnerable or the most upset or the most sensitive or the most in fear. He's the one I want to be able to say, ‘Oh my gosh, I need to talk to you.’"
"But sometimes I don't. A lot of times I don't because I don't want to rock the boat, or I don't want to put him in a bad mood, or I'm walking on some eggshells."
Phillips explained that their breakdowns in communication are "partially my fault."
"I take responsibility for it because I need to learn to trust him and speak up and trust that he'll be able to handle my emotions," she admitted in the video.
The five-time Grammy Award nominee explained that she sometimes holds back from expressing her feelings to Baldwin since she does not want to "send him into a depression" or give him "anxiety."
"It just comes down to me not wanting to trigger him, but the truth is that me having that fear is keeping us from true intimacy, because it’s preventing me from opening up to him, and I’m trying to guard his feelings, and yet I’m causing more trouble in our marriage by doing that," Phillips said.
"I’m shooting myself in the foot," she added.
Phillips and Baldwin first met during a chance encounter at an airport in 1991 and tied the knot four years later. The couple share daughters Jameson, 24, and Brooke, 19, and son Vance, 22.
However, the two have weathered many ups and downs in their marriage over the years. In March 2010, Phillips filed for divorce from Baldwin but withdrew her petition a few days later. During a June 2010 interview with Us Weekly, Phillips explained the reasoning behind her decision to file.
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"I started to feel a little flatlined, like I need more and want more, and I know we deserve more from our marriage," Phillips said at the time. "It became so about the children and so about my business, his business, and I missed him. I really missed him. I missed laughing together, taking our little vacations together."
Phillips explained that she was feeling "hopeless" about the state of their marriage but had a change of heart after realizing that divorcing Baldwin would be the "biggest mistake of my life."
The California native told the outlet that the two were able to overcome the rough patch by "working together in therapy."
Over the past few months, both Phillips and Baldwin have been open about experiencing marital problems in recent years.
In a January video on her YouTube channel, Phillips revealed that the couple had "separated for six months" but eventually reconciled. Phillips did not specify when the split occurred but said that she believed their disconnect began when she dedicated her life to Jesus.
"I’ve been with Billy for 32 years, and we have an awesome marriage, but we definitely had the hardest couple years of our lives," she said. "I think it’s because I just took the deep dive into Jesus, and I think he didn’t quite know what to do with that because it was kind of all Jesus, all the time."
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"I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago, and I refused to have the same marriage that we had 30 years ago," Phillips added. "It’s time for us to mature and grow. He was on board, but I think that for him, it was also like, ‘Well, you’re not into the things that I’m into.’"
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Later that month, Baldwin joined Phillips in a YouTube video as the pair candidly discussed their marital woes. The couple admitted that they separated for six months but insisted they "worked through it."
'You and I have this sort of systemic problem in our relationship, which is that you see your life and the world through a very different lens than I do," Phillips told the "Silver" star.
"And sometimes that tends to cause ruptures in our relationship and little chasms, and we are trying our best to be able to navigate those differences in our marriage," she continued. "The Christianity aspect of it all has been sort of a glaring issue for a while, because [religion] has sort of overtaken my life in many ways. It has perhaps even made you question whether you and I can really make it in the long run."
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"You would never divorce me, but would we be able to stay truly happy and connected and thrive with me being on this trajectory – this Jesus trajectory?" Phillips asked.
Baldwin joked that Phillips had a fantasy of them becoming Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye — "a revival team that travels the country." Phillips quickly shut down his idea, saying, "Okay, that is so a story that you told yourself."
"It hasn't been, become sort of the partnership that you've yearned for or hoping for," Baldwin responded. "But I still absolutely love you, absolutely adore you, and completely support you in your faith. That's why I'm sitting here now. That's why we go to church together. That's why we pray together. That's why we talk about faith together. That's why I do this stuff for you."
"It's because I'm a supportive, loving husband who adores his wife, wants to spend the rest of my life with you, no question."
Phillips said she finds it "slightly perplexing" that Baldwin believes in God but has not made his "quest to have a relationship with this God" a "priority."
"I just want you to begin your journey, your faith journey," she added.
Phillips is the daughter of the Mamas & the Papas co-founders John and Michelle Phillips and the half-sister of Carnie Phillips and Bijou Phillips. Chynna and Carnie, along with Wendy Wilson, comprise the pop music trio Wilson Phillips.
Baldwin is the brother of fellow actors Alec Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin and Daniel Baldwin. Alec has been making headlines lately with his recent incident with an anti-Israel protester, as well as his upcoming trial for involuntary manslaughter for the fatal shooting on the set of "Rust."
Read more about Alec here.
